Sadly, due to the commitments required by SYF, I won't be able to go for YF up until April, so I'm sorry Danny, but don't come asking everytime I come online why I wasn't there last week. Funny how I was singing about God being worthy of creating what he created just for His own pleasure 'cause He's perfect and holy and glorious (Thou Art Worthy), after we learnt today about God's purpose for creating us.

I guess, I haven't really thought about what I want in this new year of 2009. I ought to start a proper Bible study soon. I thank God for showing me so much grace and countless numbers of chances to "prove" myself. Yet I fail Him again and again. Thank you God for letting me know you. I pray that as I go deeper into the year, it will be the same in my relationship with you. I pray that you help me remember daily, and in each and every moment, who is it that I serve. I pray for my QT, which has quickly become yet another mindless, routine procedure. Help me, what is that word? Help me seek you with my heart and soul and mind and strength.

Sometimes I wonder whether I am really saved. After a while, it seems as though going to Church is as mindless and routine a procedure as QT has fast become for me. To others (ahem) Satan may be slogging his butt off, but I feel that I'm constantly distracted and waylaid by things of this world, which render Bible Study and QT seemingly boring and useless. I know God will forgive us for sinning when we repent, but sustained negligence of Him and His word is not justifiable. Neither is making excuses. I used to tell myself that as long as I know and tell myself that I think I've crossed the line, I'll be okay, but I'm not so sure anymore. I think I've really really overstepped very badly, now.