Tennis today was quite a fair waste, seeing as to how it rained 5 minutes into play. Not your fault, because you don't control the rain, do you. Nope, don't worry about that. What really got my goat was not being asked to go play badminton, 'cause as you probably, or else should know by now, I am a proud person, and I don't ask people to let me tag along, I have to be asked. But then again, it's a first, this time, so I guess it's Your way of telling me to rest. Especially after what yesterday's training did to my extremely unfit body. No pain, no gain, huh. I've been righted. What else have I to say? Oh right, I don't know how I'm going to get through RS, except that You're going to take me through. And. Everyone's leaving. I'm all alone. And I'm not kidding, I absolutely am not, I just can't wait for this chapter to close and for the next one to begin, because this one is becoming unbearable and unbearably lonely. Except for. Yes, and it pains me to start thinking about all I've lost. Yeah sure, I respect your decision for that, but it does seem a little unfair to me to have to be the sacrifice in exchange for your_ but of course, there's comfort and hope in the Rock, and in the fact that nothing but a solid Rock I have for/in the centre of my life. That's one. Two, everyone else is following suit and leaving as well. Come back, all of you! Come back! I'm tired of chasing empty shadows, now. Leave, leave. Just let me tide this by in the shadow of Your wing, and then, slowly, hopefully, the new chapter will be better than the previous. Am I done? Maybe. And I so desperately need to/want to see you, hear your voice, feel your comforting presence, although you're not the ideal hope of everyone that we should all strive for, and to that One, please pardon me, but my pathos overtakes my mind, and right now I feel like you're the only one who can soothe my wrack of nerves, despite that being false, but I don't know why, because I let you go but you keep coming back? No, I don't, of that I was so absolutely certain that there was no turning back to be spoken of, and then as I was feeling so sure of it, I walked into the wall on which was scrawled what conveyed the exact opposite. I suppose, now that after all this mortal searching and running around and feeling about in the dark for something, anything, the Light suddenly comes into the picture and makes everything clearer, for a moment, a vapour of an existence, and just as quickly, the candle is snuffed out, and I am gone. To eternal glory, and may I face the end of the road with more satisfaction than disappointment.